John Carter of Earth…of Mars….of…a Sort of Entertaining Movie
So apparently not many critics liked “John Carter”. Neither was there a huge desire to see the film in the theater as it, thus far, has made 282 million world-wide and it budget was 250 million (it needs about 520 million to break even). You know what? It wasn’t that bad. Seriously.
John is a civil war soldier who is being recruited to return to the fight; he resists the callback , resist being a polite way of saying “fights every effort”. He’s found a cave with gold in it and is doing what he can to get to that cave. Along with the gold, he has found a strange amulet which, when he touches it in a particular pattern, transports him to Mars. Mars, despite being a desolate, arid place, is not devoid of life. We find two races, one a decidedly human race divided into two different ruling families and a second race of aliens which, although human, have 4 arms and are fierce fighters. When John is seen by the aliens as defending himself with a lot of chutzpah, he earns their respect and he becomes accepted as a friend. Eventually John encounters the more human race and becomes involved in the battle between the two ruling parties. He meets and eventually falls for a princess who is to be married to a prince in the opposing family in order to create a peace. Battles ensue and John’s alien friends come to the rescue. In the end John gets what he truly wants, finds that there are things much more valuable than gold. It’s fun to watch how Disney handles the lesser gravity of Mars; yes, John has the really cool ability to sort of leap-skip across the land as he runs. He even has the ability to jump…very high and very far. Yes there are plot holes. Yes there are continuity issues. As I say though, I watch movies to enjoy them and I had fun watching this one. I won’t buy the DVD and seeing it once was enough but it certainly is not a waste of 2 hours, 13 minutes of my life.
Give it look-see. I think you will be pleasantly…but mildly…surprised. 6 out of 10 Pibbs.
John Carter (2012) – d. Andrew Stanton; Taylor Kitsch, Lynn Collins, Samantha Morton, Willem Defoe, et al.